Standing Tall

Standing and telling the world he can do just that.

In the past few weeks, Mason has learned to stand on his own two feet without support…as long as he starts with support. The little guy can pull himself to his feet using a couch or chair, or an adult can set him on his feet in the middle of a room, and he can stand independently for up to 30 seconds before plopping himself on his bottom safely. Even more exciting (and scary), Mason can take a step or two as long as someone is holding both of his arms and guiding him forward. Steady supports like a walk-behind device (its actual name eludes me) allow him to walk/slither along floors with relative ease. All I can think when I see him ready to take his first steps any day now is:

“This is the end.”

Of course, I mean the end of my sanity. This knocks be back to my default status as a father: worry-wart. Mason is going to walk, that’s inevitable. Also inevitable is the falls and smashed lips and skull trauma that only comes with learning to walk. We’re talking about a kid who while sitting on the floor, suddenly flailed and flopped himself into a wall (just like Daddy sometimes does). Gah! I’d really like to encase the child in bubble wrap, but aside from comical YouTube entertainment, I would probably be socially scarring poor Mason for life. Sure, I learned to walk just the same, and I’m sure my parents have wonderful stories of head/body trauma while learning to do it. We all encounter the pitfalls of learning to right ourselves and ambulate. It still doesn’t help me. In the meantime, I’ll work on a device that will protect the boy without ostracizing him in public, as well as help avoid criticism from my own peers. Any ideas?

Worry, Worry, Worry…

This was another “father-to-be lesson” based on some early observations of my first weeks as a father. In retrospect, some of my worries were legitimate, some not. Every parent worries, this was my take on it…

You’re a father now! You’ve been through the entertaining delivery, and your new baby is pink, hopefully healthy and everyone is delighted…except you. You’re sitting there wondering if the crib at home is assembled correctly.  Did we buy enough diapers? What if he gets sick? What if I drop her? I wipe him which way?!

Worry. Concern. Paranoia. This is fatherhood. From this day forward, you will never stop worrying about something. Even the most irrational, ridiculous, practically impossible scenarios enter your head. “What if Mason somehow rolls out of his bouncer, squirms over to the outlet, drools on his finger and sticks it in the wall outlet?!” Mason was about 2 months old when this strange worry hit me. Your worries may involve everything from falls to poisoned food to alien abduction. This is all natural. It’s now your job to worry all the time. Worry is nature’s way of saying “I love you so much, it drives me nuts.”

For some, a primary concern will be finances. How to pay for the diapers, formula, clothes, doctor’s appointments, etc.? Thoughts of 90-hour work weeks between three jobs flood your brain. These thoughts are compounded by a lack of sleep, thanks to your newborn’s feeding schedule (which was specifically designed with no regard for parental sanity). It may be necessary to pick up extra hours via another job, selling unneeded items, writing a blog (!), etc. Whatever you need to do to make it work, you’ll gladly do it…because as I’ve mentioned time and time again, it’s not about you, it’s about your little one.

Safety. This is another big concern, and the most common cause of paternal paranoia. While there is no need to duct tape your child into the crib at night, or illegally acquire FBI security reports to ensure homeland safety, steps can be taken to ensure your home is as safe is as possible. Your local baby product store can be helpful in recommending the right products for your family, based upon where you live and how your home is set up. Unfortunately, your baby will have an incident sooner or later. Bumped heads and skinned knees are just part of learning to crawl, walk and play. It’s OK to worry about these things, but don’t overdo it. Children pick up very quickly on parental behaviors and patterns. If I took Mason to the emergency room every time he scraped an elbow, what kind of example would I be setting for when he gets hurt and I’m not there? (This is something I need to practice more myself, as I am one to immediately run for the bandages upon the occurrence of even a minor papercut) Keep as calm as possible, and focus on soothing your child. If you must be paranoid about every little thing, do it after bedtime. Your child will thank you later.

Worry. Concern. Paranoia. It’s really like saying “I love you, I love you more, I love you unconditionally.” It’s natural to be driven crazy over it…because you’re crazy over your child.